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The Wonder of Motherhood: Meet our Wondermums

Community
By The Bonds Team

Here at Bonds, we’re so grateful that we get to be a part of the pregnancy and motherhood journeys of Aussie women. 

Whether it’s keeping bodies comfy as they change shape to accommodate the wonder of pregnancy, providing the support needed for breastfeeding, or clothing your bubs in the best quality clothing, Bonds is always there. 

We’re part of a community of mums who keep it real, always opt to be comfy, and love to share their experiences.

To connect our mums even better, we’re introducing Wondermums. A group of 5 stellar mums who will be bringing their own wealth of knowledge and experience to Bondsbumpsandbaby!

Each month they will be discussing a new topic that mums want to know more about or chat about with other mums – so make sure you let us know what you want to talk about!

To introduce you to our five mums, we asked them to write a letter to their pregnant selves…

Jules Coffey @julescoffey_

It’s not going to be easy darling, but it will be worth it. Take time each day to visualise how wanted this little baby is. 

Remember while nourishing your body that you are also nourishing an extension of yourself. 

Motherhood is set to challenge you, but it will also bring you the greatest love of your life. 

jules coffey wondermums

Motherhood, much like pregnancy comes with difficult days and easier ones. Relish in the good ones. Take comfort in the little things. The sound of the baby’s heart beating, the sweet kicks as a reminder of life and surrender to the changes of your body. It is doing exactly what it is meant to be doing. 

Take pictures. You will look back in awe of what you have done. 

Don’t get so caught up on the nursery. Instead spend more time gaining information and thinking about how you will bring baby into the world. Sure, you will worry and think about the physical expectations, but what about the mental ones. Think birth preferences. Think options. You should be feeling excited, empowered and supported. 

Birth is not to be feared!

Your body and your baby know just what to do and trusting in that is paramount. Listen less to the opinions of others and trust that you’re already a capable Mother. Truly trust that every journey is different and that this one is your own. Take time each day to do something you really enjoy. 

Something that gives you a glimmer of a smile even when your feet are aching and your body hurts. 

At the end, you may feel defeated, but keep reminding yourself that when that little baby is curled up on your chest and no longer tucked away inside it will all be a distant memory and worth every single second. I promise.

Mel Watts @melwatts

A letter to my teenage self.

Eighteen and pregnant. How differently I’d be if I knew then what I knew now. 

mel watts wondermums

The stick is right, you know deep down it’s all right. You’re pregnant, not only pregnant you’re scared. You only suffered a miscarriage not that long ago that left deep heart ache in your heart.

Being scared is okay but let me tell you the growth you experience throughout this stage of your life is phenomenal.

Girl you’ll overcome some big hurdles, you’ll hear words you haven’t heard before and you’ll learn things you didn’t even know you needed to learn. We didn’t learn this stuff last year in year 12, did we? 

Your body will undergo a massive change one that’ll change the way you view your body until this day. You think its ruined, yet little do you know it’s just started to bloom. If only you didn’t spend so much time disliking it, you’d be able to spend the time knowing how lucky you are. 

Ultrasound after ultrasound you’ll get to watch your baby boy kick and play. He’s growing so well. You look around and no one looks as excited as you do, but they are. They’re all just concerned for your future – our future. 

As the weeks go on you gain confidence, you gain strength and you know you’ve got this. His dad is so in love with the baby as well and you’re both eagerly buying things as you wait impatiently for his arrival.

As a normal antenatal appointment arrives, we get some scary news. I went alone to that appointment and all I heard and understood was fluid on the brain and needing to get to the city for an emergency ultrasound. You are so brave, so brave. You stood up and walked out called his dad and organised what needed to be done to get down there asap.

Thankfully in hindsight money was tight so having mobile phones and internet together wasn’t a priority or something you couldn’t easily afford, so you didn’t google your babies scan. Your worried family did and that instilled slight fears, but you knew that you needed to wait and see for yourself. Your baby was so so happy, you felt his kicks often how can he be unwell?

On the scan day they found you had only slight fluid on the brain, not enough for them to be overly concerned about and they assured me they’d monitor me and make sure he was safe.

Days come and go. Weeks come and go. STILL HEAVILY and I can certainly say heavily and uncomfortably pregnant.

When will this end you’d think over and over.

You didn’t have your license and you couldn’t really walk far as your body was filled with fluid; your ankles didn’t exist anymore! So, sitting at home all day every day gets a little much for you.

You go in for your weekly antennal clinic visits at 40.2 weeks pregnant and get told to go home, come back tonight – its baby time.

You go home and pack your things. You and him both know you’ll have your sweet baby boy in your arms soon enough. That afternoon you enter the hospital and start the induction. Everything ran as smoothly as possible. You laboured just like text ook, his song – forever young was playing in the background. You actually did so well, you wiggled your toes and took deep breathes – you should be smiling at yourself here, why? Because you learnt that, you educated yourself because you doubted yourself as a teenage mother and you birth a not so small baby boy. 

Ayden – 9.5 pounds of pure bliss.

You’re exhausted, but you did it.

You actually did what you didn’t think you could do.

You should be so proud of yourself, I am. Just know the next few days you’ll feel slightly different than you thought you were meant to. It’ll be okay.

Mel x

Chantelle Ellem @fatmumslim

Dear Mama-to-be,

It’s me. Well, future me, writing to you, past self with a little advice. Life is about to change. You  know that though. You know that having a child is momentous and huge, but you don’t really know how much things will change, or just how they’ll change.

chantelle wondermums

Firstly, get some sleep. You’ve heard that a million times already, but truly enjoy the ability to sleep whenever you like, when you like, and how you like. You’re about to become obsessed with sleep. You’ll count how much sleep you didn’t get, you did get and how many hours until it’s socially appropriate to go to bed again (for the record, 6pm is a completely appropriate adult bedtime). Everything will look like a potential bed. You’ll eye off soft surfaces and dream about falling into a deep sleep right there. As I said, you will be obsessed with sleep.

Enjoy solitude. Right now, you take lazy Sundays for granted. You get to wake when you please and fill your day with fun things or do nothing at all. You get to pee alone, shower alone, and can hear the beautiful sound of silence for hours on end. This will become a rare thing in the future.

You’d give up all the sleep in the world, and all that peaceful silence, for your future kids though, because you’ve created the most amazing human beings. You truly have. Your body is amazing, and it will birth two beautiful girls. By the way, giving birth is the hardest thing you’ll do, but the most magical too. So much so that you’ll cry after you give birth for the last time because you want to experience it again in this lifetime.

Once you become a mum, your heart will feel like it’s walking outside your body. You’ll feel vulnerable, and delicate, but also consumed by a love that you’ve never known before. You’ll have two daughters with you for your life, and together with Shane, you make us the fiercest, most fun team anyone could dream of. Together you are unstoppable, tired… but unstoppable.

So mama, hold on for this wild ride ahead. You will feel joy from your head to your toes, and tired to your bones, and it will make you feel alive, and make life fuller than ever.

I am so proud of you,

Chantelle xx 

Emma Meyer @play_at_home_mummy

Three babies on, and here’s what I wish I knew before we had any....

wondermums emma meyer

They will fill you. You didn’t even know you were missing pieces, but then they arrive and all of a sudden, you’ve grown an extra limb and you wonder how you ever did life without it. The entire world shifts when they enter it, and yesterday’s life may as well have been a dream because this little person wasn’t in it, and their tiny body is the most real thing you’ve ever held in your life. 

They will change you. You will look different. Feel different. You’ll have soft bits and scars. You won’t have time for the ‘us’ that was you and your husband, because ‘us’ has become bigger but somehow has less space for you to give to each other. 

They will make you (and some days, break you). You thought you knew yourself, but half of you was missing. The half that makes you the person you were meant to be. They change your priorities and give you the perspective you need to become the absolute best version of yourself.  

The truth is that being their Mum is the most ‘yourself’ you will ever be. They expose all your worst traits, pretty much on a daily basis because these tiny humans know ways to trigger you that you didn’t even know existed. But they love you more fiercely, completely and unreservedly than anyone ever has. You are their world, and while the enormity of that job weighs you down daily, it also lifts you up. You were given to them, and they to you. You were meant for each other.

They will worry you (and worry you and worry you and worry you...). You have never known the sheer terror that is placing your hand on your sleeping baby to check that they are still breathing. Or the way your heart drops when they run around a corner out of your sight just for a moment, your mind racing with the 100 terrible things that could happen to them in the two seconds before they reappear. They are the most precious things that have ever been entrusted to you, and you’re literally sweating because there’s nothing stopping that tiny fence around that huge deep lake from collapsing at any moment and taking your tiny people down with it. But just breathe. And hold their hands extra tight around lakes.

They will drain you. And not just in the physical way (because after a while, being tired doesn’t matter anymore - when you haven’t slept in five years, what’s another few years give or take!). They will drain you mentally and emotionally. You will wonder whether you are doing enough, being enough, giving enough. But they will simultaneously fill you to the brim, making every day worth living even though you’ve never been so scared of losing something in your entire life.  

They will test you. They will challenge you. They will surprise you. 

They will love you unconditionally. They will be the best thing that ever happened to you. 

Until they arrive, you’ve been walking around your whole life seeing everything in black and white.

Your world is about to explode with colour. You’ll never look back.

 

Phoebe Rofail – Bonds Head Designer Kids & Baby

If there was one thing I would say to my former pregnant self it would be ‘take more photos of yourself’ because having to sift through ten thousand photos of the kids, family and friends to find one of me is a little sad. 

wondermums phoebe

Although my pregnancies were really tough, they were still magical and whilst I felt self-conscious and awkward at the time it is really something amazing to capture how your body grows a tiny little human.

I would also say try not to worry so much. If the only food you can keep down is 2 minute noodles, it will be ok. Whilst I spent the majority of my pregnancy fighting to keep food down, my babies all turned out just fine, in fact with all of my babies weighing in just under 4 kilos not one of them were remotely under nourished. 

And finally, be prepared to go with the flow because once that baby arrives you will never make it anywhere on time again. Well at least until baby turns 10.

 

Stay tuned to hear more from our Wondermums!

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