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Trust Your Gut Not Your Google // Mama Pyjama

By The Bonds Team

Mama-Pyjama-SnowGlobe

After introducing the new Bumps & Baby Bloggers last week, we thought we'd get stuck right in and bring out the first post. We asked our lovely guest bloggers for the best advice they would give to a new parent. Take it away, Kellie: Being a new parent is a little like being stuck inside a snow globe: dinky tunes playing over and over; white stuff (possets) coming at you from all directions (who calls them possets though, seriously!?); your world being tipped on its head; a sense of confinement; and then there’s you, standing in the middle like some freeze- framed zombie, as people look in observing your every move, serving up opinions and advice on everything from how to change a nappy ‘properly’ to how often and well your baby “should be sleeping”. So, offering my advice to a new parent is something I’m a little hesitant to do…but here goes. Trust your gut, not your Google. There is an endless amount of information at our fingertips nowadays. And whilst this can be great for winning a debate with your partner about who sang a song in the 80s, it’s not so great for your sleep deprived and second-guessing new parent state of mind. There are so many different opinions on the ‘right’ way to raise your child, what sleep routines they should be following, what and when they should eat, and the exact moments when they should hit developmental milestones. If you’re not careful you can get sucked into a cycle of self-doubt and find yourself directing your precious energy into working out this covert parenting formula instead of enjoying your parenting moments for what they are. Most of my memories of the early parenting days are quite hazy, but I remember one particular moment with great clarity. I was standing in the centre of my son’s nursery trying to nurse him to sleep. I was going through the usual thought processes, “I shouldn’t be rocking him…why am I still rocking him to sleep at ten months old…how come everyone else’s babies go to sleep by themselves…”?? Without realising it my thought processes had been infiltrated by resentment, "they told me he’d be sleeping through the night by now...it’s not supposed to be this way”. And then it dawned on me...“how is thinking about everybody else’s babies actually helping me with my baby”? I was spending so much energy looking to Google and everyone else to find out how it was supposed to be that I lost sight of one very important factor - we all have unique needs, little quirks, and distinct things that make us feel safe, comfortable and loved…why would babies be any different? Once I stopped looking outward and started looking inwards I felt an enormous amount of pressure lift. I’ve learnt to trust my gut instinct, and in doing so I’ve built self-confidence in my parenting ability. I’m not going to get it right all the time, in fact it’s going to be a bumpy ride, but I love my children more than anything in the world and I have faith that with this as my compass I can’t go too far wrong. So, trust your gut and have faith that you are well-equipped for this parenting gig. Ask for help when you need it, be open to the advice and assistance from friends, family and experts, but if it’s not working, not helping or if it’s adding to your stress - be prepared to let it go. No one knows your child better than you do. Focus on what works best for you and your child and be prepared to be flexible with it. What works today, might not work tomorrow…and that’s ok. That’s what it’s all about…it’s a journey. What’s more, it’s your family’s journey - don’t try to make it someone else’s. By Kellie Turtu Mama Pyjama
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